Sunday, January 31, 2010

It seems that every year right before his birthday, I feel such a strong need to look back at his short life and remember everything. This year, at almost 6, he has transformed from my little boy to a bigger boy. This year he has proven his courageousness by bravely stepping forward into Kindergarten and Religious School - no easy challenge for a boy who would rather be home with mom all of the time. He is independently taking ice skating lessons and did so well at soccer over the summer. He has taken his new maturity and applied it to his relationships. He now treats his sister with the type of respect that I prayed for. He shows her his love every day, a gift that I was hoping for. He comes to me and his father with a plan for everything, always knowing what he wants to do next. His negotiating skills have improved, and it's hard to argue with most of his reasoning. Our unconditional parenting of him has led to a son who knows his own body, his own mind, his own reasons, his own boundaries, his own tastes and dislikes. I thank God for this gift. I had no idea when we decided to have our first child that it would be a blessing of this magnitude. Those first days after his birth, while still reeling from the trauma of it, the enormity set in. The love I felt for him then was almost overwhelming...and hasn't been fact has multiplied time and again. I look at him and who he is and respect that. He doesn't have to be anyone *for me*. He just is who he is...and that is perfect. I love you Jacob. Those words don't really do it justice but on this flat surface, it will suffice.


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