It seems that every year right before his birthday, I feel such a strong need to look back at his short life and remember everything. This year, at almost 6, he has transformed from my little boy to a bigger boy. This year he has proven his courageousness by bravely stepping forward into Kindergarten and Religious School - no easy challenge for a boy who would rather be home with mom all of the time. He is independently taking ice skating lessons and did so well at soccer over the summer. He has taken his new maturity and applied it to his relationships. He now treats his sister with the type of respect that I prayed for. He shows her his love every day, a gift that I was hoping for. He comes to me and his father with a plan for everything, always knowing what he wants to do next. His negotiating skills have improved, and it's hard to argue with most of his reasoning. Our unconditional parenting of him has led to a son who knows his own body, his own mind, his own reasons, his own boundaries, his own tastes and dislikes. I thank God for this gift. I had no idea when we decided to have our first child that it would be a blessing of this magnitude. Those first days after his birth, while still reeling from the trauma of it, the enormity set in. The love I felt for him then was almost overwhelming...and hasn't been reduced...in fact has multiplied time and again. I look at him and who he is and respect that. He doesn't have to be anyone *for me*. He just is who he is...and that is perfect. I love you Jacob. Those words don't really do it justice but on this flat surface, it will suffice.

What a wonderful, new, eye-opening ride it has been since Baby Sister Jena joined us 7 months ago. Jacob seems so much bigger now...and older. Which he is...but also still such a little one at heart. He shows his sister such a huge amount of love: calls her Princess Kitty when she wakes in the morning, is always sure to give her a hug and kiss before bed, has "taught" her how to play piano and drums and loves to make her laugh. He is learning the art of trading, when he wants what she has and he needs to replace it so she doesn't cry! Of course, he has asked if she can go back inside my belly and if he can also have milk but he also shows her so much affection and love. They have gone to the fair, to Florida, strawberry picking, swimming, to the playground, played putt-putt, watched Uncle John graduate from high school, played baseball every week....it's been a busy summer! And now we are moving into a new house. Jacob is so excited! His room has been painted yellow - at his request. He has also asked for a race car rug - we'll see!

Jake's new baby sister is here! Jena Ellie was born on Dec 9, 2006 with a head full of dark hair and barely a whimper. She was just 8lb 5oz and 18.5 inches long. Jake was there for the big entrance and his first questions were - is it a boy? and where is her penis? I just love his honesty and curiosity! He is "adjusting" as everyone keeps calling it, as we all are. It's a new world, full of sharing mommy and daddy and being patient. He really loves his sister and tells her, hugs her and kisses her all of the time. Here are some pics...

Woodstock, NY July 3, 2006
Waterfalls & Hippie Paintings make for a fun day!!

We've had a wonderfully relaxing 4th of July weekend with hubby getting out of work early on Friday and off thru Tuesday. We've had a picnic a friend's home where Jake enjoyed playing with Thomas, swam at a great pool with those same friends where Jake splashed in the kiddy pool and swam in the big pool, had dinner at Grammie and PopPop's that ended with firefly catching around the campfire and made a roadtrip to Woodstock, NY. If you've never been there, we highly recommend it. It was a beautiful, hot day. So we lathered on the sunscreen and started off on a walk around town. There are tons of unique shops, art galleries and eclectic restaurants. Jake was fascinated by the bubble machine outside of one of the "hippie" shops. One of the neatest parts of the town was the creek that flows through. There are many bridges where you can view mini waterfalls and there's even a short walk from town to a place to put your toes (or whole body) in. It's called Millstream and was, surpisingly, not freezing! Plenty of people had climbed over the guardrail and trekked down the sharp incline to take a respite from the heat. There were mini waterfalls and slick rock areas on which to sit. There was even a rock lodge from which you could jump and plunge into about five feet of water. Although that looked great to me, it was a little too much for our little one. So we moved up the road a bit to where the water simply cascaded over the smooth rocks in a gentle flow. As we put our feet in, thunder started to roll! So we enjoyed a few minutes of the clear, cool water before heading back to town. What a great day!

Contemplating life on a walk at Kinns Rd Park.

Daddy, this is how you climb the playground equipment.

CHEESE!


Like my new bathing suit?






Wow, those frisbee dogs sure can jump high!

He's going to be a big brother! He's so excited. He snuggles with and talks to the baby a lot. He tells him/her that he wants to play hockey together. He also tells me which "milk" baby can have when he/she comes. We refer to the baby as "our baby" so he feels a part of it all. When we have an OB appointment, he always asks if the baby is going to come out. We've told him that the baby will come when Mommy gets a lot bigger and it's cold and snowy outside (December). Jake saw the first ultrasound with us ("the baby on the computer").

What a big boy he is! Wow! The changes that he's gone through in his personality and ability to communicate recently are just mind boggling. His language has improved to the point that you can almost understand everything he is saying. And they are full sentences! Some of his favorite things to talk about now are golf (I go to putting green with Daddy!), swimming (I put on my swimming diaper and my bathing suit and take off my sandals and jump in!), and the playground (I go playground Mommy!). Golf has become his new passion. He has tons of clubs now, even a "real" club that Daddy had given to cousin Big Mike when he was little. That one's a little hard to swing because of the weight. He calls it the "goalie club"! He plays around the house every day - "Watch this big shot Mommy!" - and on the putting green with Daddy a couple times a week. He's so serious about it at the green. The flags are numbered so he lets you know which one he's aiming for then lines himself up and swings. He always wants to play through, he can't let a ball get close to the hole then try another one. So cute. We're going to take him to play putt-putt this weekend. I think he'll love it.
Summer has been very wet so far but he's enjoying playing outside, riding his tricycle to "get the mail", swimming and wearing shorts and sandals. I can't wait to see him at the beach in August.

He pee-peed in the big potty standing up! Yippee! While that might not sound like a big deal to those of you who don't have a little one, it's HUGE! Not only is he ready to really make the effort to go in the potty more often, but he is doing it like the big boys do! Potty training is such an interesting process. I believe that you should offer guidance as he shows signs that he is ready but don't force it. We've been praising him every time he goes. No award like M&Ms or stickers but good old-fashioned high-fives and hugs. Telling him we are proud of him always gets a sweet smile. So, we've been "going in the potty" on and off since last summer. But lately, he's been even more interested. He's excited about the prospect of being able to wear Buzz or Thomas underwear, which has been promised if he goes two days without peeing in his diaper. We're a long ways from that but the goal keeps him motivated. Dr. Sears, one of my favorite child rearing advisors, has some great tips on potty training. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp Here's to more pee-pee in the potty!!

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.- Elizabeth Stone

How true this statement is. I want to hold him close, protect him. He is my heart, my pulse, my innermost being, a permanent part of my soul. How do you let something that treasured go out into the world without you standing right beside him, holding his hand? How do you let someone you don't know influence his every day thoughts and actions? How do you expose him to people who don't get it? Who don't understand what a precious gift he is? Who don't know what you've done to get him to this point? How do you let that little life spend day after day away from his cornerstone, his rock, his mother? How do you go out into the world and "work" only to come home to someone who needs you beyond explanation, who has had to survive the day without your loving arms and your grace? How do you give up being a part of those tender first years of growing and learning? How do you take a piece of yourself, just as much a piece as an arm, and walk away from it every morning only to feel it ripped from you? My answer is that you don't - no matter what the cost. Because the alternative is the great cost of his future.